I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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