He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
