If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
