Jerry, you need to find god
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
