Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
