Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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