Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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