i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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