omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
