I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
