Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
