I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
