watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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