carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
