Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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