epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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