you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
