She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize