Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i came on her dog
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Randomize
