I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You may now shotgun with the bride
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
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