New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
