We won't sleep together?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
