before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
