he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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