a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
