did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
