im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
