dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
