all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
