Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I stole a fireplace last night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
