We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
