imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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