you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
