why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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