Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
