im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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