he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
