You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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