Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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