I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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