I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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