Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
jump out the window naked night went bad
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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