The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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