No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
