I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
