I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize