If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
