So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
