Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
