Your face is a jimmy john
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
