I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
splinters make it hard to masturbate
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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