benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
