Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
