I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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