The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
