If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
