I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you traded sex for a burrito?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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