chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Its about making memories worth repressing
bring money and cleavage
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
