You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
