arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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