Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
