in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
