Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The adults are the big ones right?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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