You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
