She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
