cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
