Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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