I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
