i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
