The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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