can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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