I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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