Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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