So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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