no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just googled if crying burns calories
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
