Me too!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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