Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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