I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
